She told me that I had explained something in my paper about narcissism that she had never really come across. She was referring to how I had used the example of a narcissist guru as someone who needed to believe that he was completely free, dependent on no one—the kind of narcissist who exploits and controls others, inflating himself by deflating those he surrounds himself with. I was arguing in this paper that he needs others desperately, but that he disavows dependency, which he views as weak and shameful. He needs to lure others into becoming dependent on him, which then allows him to persist in his delusion that only others are needy, not himself. As a result of his developmental trauma connected to dependency, he externalizes dependency, and with it, shame. Dependency and shame are repugnant weaknesses in his eyes, problems for his inferior followers, not for superior him.
—Traumatic Narcissism (Relational Systems of Subjugation) by Daniel Shaw, LCSW